It all came to a crashing halt, however, one evening when a grad student of mine killed himself because of his own character flaws. His wife was nine months pregnant and he had a girlfriend. I found this all out later, but what really upset me was when everyone connected with him told me at his funeral how much he had liked my class on "Alternate Conceptions of Reality" where I lectured on reincarnation among other things. He might have thought that he would get another chance which I now know to not be the case. "Once to die and then the judgment" says the word of God, (Hebrews 9:27). I felt then that I might have contributed to his suicidal decision.

After leaving the world of academia (I was denied tenure due to funding issues and not replaced), I became a Jewish Community Professional in Phoenix for several years. I continued my Gnostic pursuits and began channeling images from the spirit world; see Azazel: the Extraterrestrial, UFO Digest, 1/03/07.

My antipathy for Christians only grew as I worked on committees dealing with Christian proselytizing in the Jewish community.

I was involved with an Edgar Cayce study group and had my own psychic and astrologer. I was told that I was an avatar, an old, wise, ascended master type soul. I was asked to teach Jewish mysticism at a new metaphysical university in Phoenix.

I am giving you all of this background one more time to set the stage for what happened next. It seemed to come out of nowhere but eventually showed that God had his plan for my life all along. He found me, I did not find Him.

"You did not choose me, I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit" (John 15:16).

Look, it happened to me against my will and it can happen to you also. I was not in church or reading the Bible or leading a moral life. I was living with a woman and seeing my astrologer and psychic. I was preaching a godless gospel and thumbing my nose at the Lord. I was running away from Him as fast as I could.

"But while we all were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). He came and died for all of us sinners not for the righteous.

My marriage had fallen apart, my father had died and my health had failed as I was diagnosed with MS in the spring of 1987. My then current boss fired me when she learned that I had MS after telling me the day before that she would kill herself if she had received such a diagnosis. I found myself working for a Christian telemarketing precious metals company- me, the Professor, Jewish community worker (Pharisee) and avatar to boot. My sister warned me that they would get me but I told her no way. Like Dr.Harper, I knew that these religious nuts had no critical thinking skills and I would chew them up and spit them out! But God had a plan.

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